How to build a sandwich

I saw something strange today. Actually, I've seen it many times before, but only today did it occur to me that I might comment on it.

We have this sub sandwich shop called Quizno's here. I don't know if it's national, international, whatever, and it really doesn't matter. You might have seen what I'm talking about.

They have a sign hanging in the "ordering area" that's apparently a suggestion (or dictum, even) on how to order a sandwich:

1. Select bread.
2. Select size.
3. Select contents.

Or something like that. So I'm supposed to say, "Whole wheat. Regular. Italian Meatball." Sorry, but that's not how poeople order sandwiches. Try this: "I want a medium Italian meatball on whole wheat." Doesn't that sound more natural? I'm guessing they formulated the awkward sandwich-ordering formula to match the actual sandwich construction procedure taught to the employees. It's easier for them ... they don't have to listen to entire sentences, and all that high-brow crap.

"I'll have a medium Italian meatball on whole wheat, to go."
"Ok, and what kind of bread would you like that on?"
"Uh ... whole wheat. Italian meatball. Regular."
(At this point I was attempting to follow the procedure. Unfortunately, I effed up the last 2 steps.)
"And what size?"

And so on. You get the idea. I did finally escape from the place with my sandwich, though there was a bit of confusion at the cash register. A woman and her daughter had entered the shop, actually after I had placed my order. We ended up at the register at the same time, expectantly waiting for our sandwiches to emerge from the Quizno's Bat-Irradiator. My sandwich emerged. All nice and toasty and everything. The young gal wrapped it up and set it aside. I have my wallet out, and am getting ready to pay. I wait. The sandwiches that the woman and her daughter had ordered emerge. The gal starts wrapping them up. Me to myself: "Oh, I see what's going on here ... they think we're together." Sure enough, the sandwiches are ready to go and the gal starts listing all 3 sandwiches. "Um, I'm alone," I say. The woman next to me says, "Unless you want to pay for ours!" A hearty chortle was had by all. Initially I was getting kind of irritated, since I hadn't eaten for about 8 hours. Hunger can do that to you. If I wasn't so desperate to start eating the sandwich, I might have said, "I suppose you want me to follow you home and take your garbage out, too!" Oh well, shoulda-coulda-woulda.

I can't believe I made a whole post out of that. Wait till something actually interesting happens!